About a year or so ago, the topic of weddings was prominent through my friend circles. The subject ranged anywhere from who was getting married, to who wasn’t, to what our weddings may look like one day.
During one such conversation, I shared that I didn’t want a bridal party, much to the surprise of my friends around me. What? Why?!
Some of my answer was to spare us all the drama of picking humans and paying for dresses and feeling obligated to spend a ton of money. But the more I sat on the idea, the more I realized that it’s truly something I want to do because the day isn’t about the photos or the dresses or the friends or me or my husband or the cake. For me, I want it to be about celebrating the covenant created before God. I want it to be me, my bud aka husband declaring our promise with our favorite people surrounding us--that’s big enough for me.
Besides, it’s not like I won’t have my people there. I’ll still have my Front Row Friends.
These are the friends who are gonna sit front row for the wedding. They won’t be standing next to me because they’re not a part of the covenant, but they sure are important to me. They’ll sit right next to my family because these friends are more like family. I’ll let them wear what they want because that night is a celebration of new chapters and joining journeys. It’s not about them and it’s not even about me.
As I look back over recent years, some people I thought would be front row have moved back a couple rows. Some aren’t even coming to the wedding. (Yikes Hannah, that’s harsh. Is it?? Or is it just part of life? I’ve moved too many times to expect many humans to transfer into new chapters of life organically and fully). And that’s okay, because I’ve not fully transferred into theirs either.
But shoot, the ones I keep… they’re top notch. They’re my biggest fans and strongest supporters. They cheer with ease when I excel and offer a listening ear when I overanalyze a setback. I want the front row to be filled with shouts of excitement for achievements and correction rooted in love for blind-spots.
And to put the pressure back on me: what does it look like for me to be someone’s FRF? Right now, it looks like honesty. It looks like intentionality when I feel like turning into a hermit in stress. It looks like shutting my mouth & letting them have the mic (which can be hard for me to do sometimes because I always have so much to say). It looks like pumping their dreams with gasoline and being the voice that constantly whispers:
Light the match.