What does the time between the stirring to do something God’s told you to do (big or small) and when you say yes to it reveal about our relationship with God?
Now, let’s make sure we are on the same page with this before I go forward. This is a heavy topic. And it would be easy to feel like I’m here to teach you how to be a better Christian-- not the case. Hence, the context from last week’s episode. I have made many mistakes, and will continue to. I’m human. I lived for many years, about 22, not seeking to grow my relationship with God. So the ideas that I present in this series are things that I’ve learned and been corrected on, and trying to make into patterns of my behavior that will eventually be a natural reaction.
Recently, I knew I was slowly becoming aware of the convictions and boundaries God was wanting me to draw with a guy I had been dating. It probably took me 4-6 weeks to say yes to the final boundary that He had wanted me to draw all along. Again, the guy was never a bad guy, but it started to become apparent to me that protecting my heart was not as high of a priority as it was when we were dating (rightfully so), but since my feelings remained the same for him, I did not take on a more accurate view of the dynamic until the tail end of that 4-6 week window.
I saw that the time it took me to say yes and trust God with new boundaries, that would not only place this guy appropriately in my life and heart, but also reinforce the status of single, yet again, was rooted in fear of going back to that place. My friend put it beautifully as I cried to her on the phone one time, “You got a taste of what God has planned for your life, and it’s almost harder to have a taste than not know how good it will be.” I’m picturing taking a bite of a friend’s sandwich they ordered and liking it more than your own but handing it back to them anyway… on a lighter note. He is a good dude who loves the Lord and looked out for me, that’s hard to hand back to God when it seems to be what’s right. I know now that it wasn’t right because it wasn’t right right now.
I saw this delayed response of mine was rooted in fear. And if we really spend a moment thinking about it, I would say a lot of what we all do everyday is rooted in fear. I’ll get this job because it makes more money because I’m afraid I won’t have enough. I’ll take the easy route because I’m afraid I’ll fail and embarrass myself. I’ll hold out hope for the rekindling of a relationship because I’m afraid God doesn’t have goodness for me in another season of singleness....
So maybe there’s something you know you’re putting off: joining that club but you’re too nervous to be the new kid, talking to the new person at work because it seems like an effort, donating or investing in a cause that helps people. Or maybe it’s bigger than that. Maybe it’s a stirring to sit with your Bible more, or start a small bible study with your friends, or to drink less or confess an addiction to a spouse or significant other. Or maybe it’s a risk, like quitting your job for a new career, one that no one will see coming but has grown to an un-ignorable level in your heart. Or maybe you’ll go back to school. Or adopt a kid. Or try to have one, just one more time. Or maybe it’s to write about that one year of your life when everything seemed to be hanging on by a tattered seam. But now it’s getting personal…
What is your hesitancy to God revealing in your heart? Are you afraid something won’t be easy? Or work out the way you envision? What if it’ll end up better than you expected? What if you meet people who become fixtures in your life that you don’t want to imagine life without? What if this step opens doors for an even more exciting step in the future?
What if this step, this initial “yes,” builds a confidence in Christ and who He is that you can rest in when the next decision presents itself?