It’s easy to be busy. I just came through a three week period where I felt like I didn’t know where to start with my obligations. And also kind of like my hair was on fire. I had packing to do, final papers to write, student grades to finalize, and a graduate program to complete. I found myself consumed in these details and allowing the space between God and I to increase mentally. *There are layers to this but the feeling is that it increases*
It wasn’t until the last few days was I able to sit down and breathe and see this distance for what it was. I think sometimes when we get far enough from God, we don’t see this space as something we can overcome. I have felt that. I did feel that… yesterday. And if we were to be honest, we can sometimes see the efforts it takes to re-establish patterns of sitting with God to be a lot or something we aren’t interested in. I have felt that. We forget what it’s like to be in His presence, which becomes mind-blowing to me the times I’m in it. How could I ever not want to pursue a relationship with God that allows peace and comfort and purpose and love to be part of my daily life? But I forget sometimes. We all do. And it’s okay. But not somewhere we should stay for too long.
So I forced myself to sit with the Bible this morning. I told myself I’d read even if I didn’t have some crazy revelational moment in the Word. I would write out my prayers, being mindful to the blessings and requests, even if they weren’t answered today. I told myself, for the next few days that I’d try to avoid shows or music that focus on elements of life that distract me from God. Because sometimes I have to go through the motions until I’ve cleared the fog of the world from my view and once I’ve done that, I can get a better view of God. The things I’ve let trump my intentional time spent with God haven’t been bad per say but sometimes we have obligations in our lives that make a relationship with Him become a bit more difficult to “maintain.” We start to see it as a checklist rather than time with the One who created the stinking universe. That we even get to do that…. well, it just helps me see that time that much more worthwhile.
If you feel far from God, start with the motions--join me. Pray for the fog to clear. Ask Him for help. Include God in the steps. To think that He’s waiting for us at the end of the road for us to take the first steps alone is counter to His heart (Matthew 28:20 if you want to hear it straight from the source). Start there. Give it a good effort and God will meet you where you are. I'm sure of it.